Soul Weariness

I had one of those thought chain reactions this morning as I looked at the dead bananas currently lurking on my kitchen bench. 

1. I don’t have time to do anything with these
2. Maybe I should suggest my daughter makes muffins
3. Who am I kidding? She will push back instantly - she’s already said she wants to take today to chill out and relax and won’t see making muffins as relaxing.
4. Young people these days seem constantly weary.
5. People these days seem constantly weary.
6. This is part of the reason no-one does anything these days - always “too busy” or “too tired” to make the effort.
7. What’s exhausting everyone, mentally, so much?
8. Ah, that would be the internet.

Because “back in the day” you had ten minutes of news and outside trauma each day and the rest was the relatively small circle of your own friends and family, in person, or at the end of a land phone anchored to the kitchen wall. If someone called and you weren’t able to reach the phone in time, it was a mystery until they called back. And the mental “ball” was in their court until they got hold of you. Now, be it a message or text, you can always be reached, and the responsibility for a response is with you. And there’s an unnecessary sense of urgency implied along with that.

Before, the news happened to people in the spotlight - politicians, celebrities, top sportspeople and the occasional activist or field leader doing something extraordinary. Sure, there was local news too, but news was receptive, not active. You watched the news. If you were unlucky (?) you were in the news and others watched you. Possibly, you talked to your family and friends about the happenings. Or you just got on with your life and didn’t think too much about it. 

You didn’t carry the load for the people dying of natural disasters. You weren’t addicted to making public commentary on every news story and relishing the responses (incendiary or otherwise) from total strangers and/or bots. These days, mostly bots. (Did you know 60% of what you see on SM is not a human? Kinda changes your desire to respond… or it does for me.) By doing so, you became responsible for the outcome of things that are far beyond your control. Which is a textbook (do we have those anymore?) recipe for long term stress and anxiety.

And with stress and anxiety comes chronic fatigue. 

And with fatigue, we stop doing the “extra” things. Like going out with friends IRL. Trying something new and going to a choir to see what it’s like. Going to see some live theatre - easier (and cheaper, at least in monetary ways) to sit in front of the goggle box. We force ourselves to go exercise because it’s a shorter bow to draw between wellness and fitness. But we are not “exercising” the same urgency with our mental and spiritual health.

“But I don’t have time to join a choir.” There’s a saying somewhere about all of us having the same 24 hours in our day. I don’t think it’s as simple as that, but I DO believe that the time spent with a mobile phone in our hand or in front of a screen (when not at work) has a massive impact on how much time you have to actually go do something to bring you joy.

Seeking joy shouldn’t be an effort. But sometimes it is. We have forgotten that effort in the right direction pays back many fold. Unless you super-love your job, effort there is a drain. But you have to take a step to move towards happiness, and sitting on the couch doomscrolling is not that.

I know it’s not realistic to put aside the internet completely. It is possible to practice self discipline and set limits on your screen time. Actively choose to spend 2-3 hours a week (it’s hardly a dealbreaker when you probably spend 10-20 hours a week on your phone) on an external activity - and take a friend! Do something in real life. That is joyful. Creative. An Active Art like drawing, painting, singing, playing an instrument, acting, crafting. 

And let me say right now, it’s not about the product. What you have at the end of your time is joy. Is a great memory. Is stronger connection with people. Is restored faith in humanity. Is a lighter heart, less stress and the feeling that you can do stuff. You have skills, you can learn, you can grow. There’s nothing more valuable than that in 2026.

3 hours a week. Invest in yourself.  Will you do it?